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 What are you grateful for?

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MonicaS

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PostSubject: What are you grateful for?   Wed 04 Jul 2012, 3:25 pm

Attention All Members:
I would like to start this thread and continue it daily. I want to hear what you are greatful for in your life, in your recovery, just gratitude in general. Don't know if I posted in the right place, if not one of the moderators will move it.
Today I am greatful that I'm in recovery.
I'm greatful for the mercy and grace shown to me by God
I'm greatful for my family
I'm greatful for my recovery family, both online and itr
I'm greatful for the smell of rain on a hot summer day
I'm greatful for finding relief from my compulsions to use
I'm greatful for people whose recovery is different from mine
I'm greatful that I realize the strength of any recovery community is those differences
I'm greatful for tolerance
I'm greatful for this site, because as of this point it is the only site I've found where people can openly discuss maintenance medications
I'm greatful for the love and support I have found in my real world support group
I'm greatful for the judgement of some not so tolerant people I encountered recently online, because it made me appreciate my peeps here and in the real world all the more.

Here's my intent for today: To be good to myself and those around me.
My thought for the day: Mercy is not getting what you deserve and grace is getting what you don't deserve


Last edited by nannamom on Tue 11 Dec 2012, 1:37 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Correct Spelling)
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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Thu 05 Jul 2012, 12:56 pm

no one else is posting but I will:
Today I'm greatful for my family and my recovery
Feeling my emotions again even the ugly ones
A wonderful 4th of July with my kids
A slight break in the heat wave here
That I go to a real world group tonight--kinda need one, longest I've been in a year without going
People who are willing to listen to me
My dog for not throwing a fit about the fireworks all night long
My sitter for being there when I can't
My hp
My sponsor
Sponsees that listen
The knowledge that regardless of the judgement of others the 12 steps are helping me in my recovery journey
The knowledge that Just for Today I am clean regardless of what the haters think
The knowledge that I can do this one day at a time
To be alive
To be in love
Just to be

Today I intend to enjoy all of the wonderful things in my life and to try to reach out and help a stranger struggling with this disease.

My love and prayers are with all of you.
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nannamom
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Thu 05 Jul 2012, 2:18 pm


Today I am grateful to be in recovery
I am grateful for the love my family continues to show me
I am grateful for the opportunity to help others who seek recovery
I am grateful that I am not homeless
I am grateful for the friends that I have
I am grateful for my doctor who took that extra step to find out why I was feeling the way I was
I am grateful for the horrible medications I have to take everyday
I am grateful to be alive
I am grateful for my children who understand and continue to love me
I am grateful to be able to sit on the front porch watch the birds at the feeders and the leaves on the trees
I am grateful to have air conditioning

I am grateful for this post as it has made me reach into myself and see all that I have to be grateful for


Today I am working on being less critical of others and trying to put myself in their place
Everyday I try to do one good thing for someone else even if it is only to smile and wish them a good day

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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Fri 06 Jul 2012, 10:36 am

Today I am greatful for my recovery and my family
Wonderful people who will stand up for what is right
Being spared from the horrible storms that hit my area yesterday
Having air conditioning in a heat wave
My wonderful support system here and in the real world
People who can disagree without being disagreeable
Newcomers who keep me grounded
The person who told me early on to pack a parachute cause I would fall of that early recovery cloud.
The knowledge that just for today i don't have to use
I'm greatful for all that has been given to me
I'm greatful that I've been lucky enough to have people who still believe in me
For the struggle
For my sponsor
For my sponsees
For my hp
For the realization that I really can turn it over to something much stronger than me
for learning to let go of my pain and resentment

Today I want to be more understanding with my husband, don't know why but he's been getn on my nerves. I also want to try to reach out to someone who disagrees with me and try to see their point of view.
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nannamom
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Fri 06 Jul 2012, 11:12 am



Today I am grateful to be alive
I am grateful that I am in recovery for another day
I am grateful that i have someone I can call at the drop of a hat if I need to
The ability to help others who need it
My overflowing email box because that means that so many more people are reaching out for help towards recovery
I am grateful for this forum and the friends that I have made on it
I am grateful that I live in a community that is trying to learn more about addiction
I am grateful that when I woke up this morning, my family were all safe at home
I am grateful for my landlord who is willing to work with me
I am grateful to have people around me who do not judge me for who I am and what I have done in the past





Today I am going to try and stay in the day

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Blue Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sat 07 Jul 2012, 8:09 am

Today I am grateful for my family
Today I am grateful for the ability to wake up without looking for a pill to make me feel better.
Today I am grateful for my Internet support. You ladies are a God-send !

(I must have missed when you started this !)

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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sat 07 Jul 2012, 8:59 am

Good morning all
Today I am greatful that I heard from a recovery friend in the real world who I had lost touch with and she's still well
I'm greatful for my family and my recovery
The wonderful weather...wish it was a little cooler
We still have ac....lot's of folks don't here
Greatful for my sponsor
My meetings
My sponsees
My support here and in the real world

Today I'm gonna reconnect with family that I have been estranged from for a while cause of my use, so pray for me and for them. Hopefully we can all have a spirit of forgiveness and love, or that's my goal for the day. At worst I'm prepared for the worst and I know I have you all, and the food will probably be good lol.
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Blue Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sat 07 Jul 2012, 9:10 am

Monica,
I am also trying to reach out and re-connect with estranged family members.
I spoke about it in chat, not sure if you were there at that point.
So far so good with the E-mails I have sent (2 sisters).
I'm not ready to approach the rest (I have 3 sisters and 1 brother).
Baby steps, right?

Good luck to you too !

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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sat 07 Jul 2012, 1:36 pm

I am an only child, but my parents raised my cousin as my sister and she died five and a half years ago from opiate abuse complications (her bowel ruptured). This evening I'm taking my kids to a barbeque at a cousins house who has always judged both me an my departed sissy very harshly, but she called and invited me and my kids to come swim and eat with her and her son, so maybe healing can happen. Considering me and my sissy were both using by 14 I'm sure we were a pain in the ass. It's just really hard for me to forgive some of the stuff that this person did when my sis was here and then having to watch the crocodile tears at her funeral was just too much. Even in my active addiction I couldn't stand hypocrisy, but I'm gonna try to let it go. I've changed, hopefully so has she, I can definitely say she would have never called before so that's different.

It's so hard to try to put all of the bs aside, but I know that holding on to the bitterness and resentment only hurts me. I hope that things continue to go well for both of us.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sat 07 Jul 2012, 4:32 pm

My prayers go out to the both of you that you can have healing and be able to move on towards love and family support.

I am grateful that I was able to sleep in today like a normal Saturday, I had wanted normal for so long

I am grateful for my family
I am ever so grateful for this forum and the members that have reached out in friendship and kindness
for my home and that I am not faced with living on the streets or sleeping in strange cars.
my memories of my past as they help me to remember where I came from and where I never want to be again.
The ability to feel love and love in return


Today I am practicing patience.
I have a sister in law who is diabetic and does not take care of herself as she should. She knows what she needs to do but doesn't. I want to yell at her and the temptation to shake her is sometimes overwhelming but this is her life and I have to let her live it. I cannot make her do something she does not want to do. Still I feel myself getting angry every time I talk to her.

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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sat 07 Jul 2012, 9:00 pm

All went well. That was the first time I had been to a family function on my Mom's side since I was a teenager. As I've said there have always been lots of judgements and criticism but today was different, don't know if they've changed or I have or a combination of both. Only problem was my oldest son throwing a temper tantrum at the end, and having to tell my mom to butt the hell out when I stood my ground with him, but honestly that felt good too. I called my cousin and apologized for the scene, but she said it was fine. My oldest is pushing the boundaries more and more, but I understand that for a long time I was like my mom was with me, as long as my kids weren't getting in the way of what I did I was ok. Sad but true. I know that patience and time will help him understand, that by letting him behave like a spoiled little brat I was not doing him any favors and that I love him is the reason I won't allow him to behave in that manner any more. If I didn't love him I wouldn't care how he acted, but I want him to understand that there are boundaries and rules in life, cause I'm just now learning that. Anyway I guess its a process and a big adjustment for both of us. I'm learning and adjusting to being a real parent and he's adjusting to having one.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sat 07 Jul 2012, 11:31 pm

I'm grateful that I can come here and read about the progress we are all making.
I also have good news to talk about.
We had my son's graduation party today. I hadn't mentioned it before because I didnt invite Jellybean before today.
But I'm working through issues with my family and her and I called her this morning and invited her.
She's so down to earth and so kind hearted that she wasnt upset with me for not inviting her sooner and she was happy to be invited and she came !

I was so over joyed that she was here.
It's the first time I've seen her since I've been on Suboxone, since we are both on Suboxone.

We had a wonderful time with the family. Unfortuantely it wasnt any of our side of the family, it was all my husbands side but we were together !

I see everyone else told wonderful stories about today. I'm so tired though, I only skimmed through them. I will be back in the morning to read again,

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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Sun 08 Jul 2012, 4:30 pm

It's so great to hear about all of the wonderful recovery people are achieving I'm so greatful that I have found a site that is uplifting, instead of trying to tear people down.
I'm also greatful that I'm confident enough in my own recovery to withstand some rather nast attacks I've received elsewhere.
I'm greatful that work on starting a real world support group for maintenence medications is going well.
I'm greatful for my husband and my babies
I'm greatful for my sponsor, my program, my recovery, and all of the wonderful gifts that have gone along with it.
I'm greatful for the resources I have found to use in my recovery
I'm greatful for the willingess to keep an open mind.

Today I want to continue to work on being more tolerant and patient with my husband. He heads back to work tomorrow, and between all of the time we've spent together in the last 2 weeks and my PMS we are gettin on each other's nerves.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Mon 09 Jul 2012, 2:13 pm

Just reading about the process the two of you are making with your families brings tears to my eyes. I am so happy for the both of you. It takes a lot to open up and start to heal and reconnect. I have one sister that I am close to. She is also a recovering addict but did not choose medication assisted treatment. She was afraid of the judgement and there aren't many people who know of her past. We talk everyday on the phone since we are so far away from each other and I miss her lots. I also have a brother and other sister who haven't said they doubt my recovery but words don't come easy when we talk. I have relapsed so many times I think they find it impossible to believe. I hope in time they will come to see it is true. Until then I am grateful for the family that I have who do believe in me.

I am grateful for my recovery
I am grateful for group tonight
Beautiful days and watching the birds at the feeders every morning
My quiet time
Emotions and not having to numb them


I am working on standing up for myself. We have rules for people who come over, when and the time etc. It seems everyone seems to think rules apply to everyone but them so when you put it all together, no one pays attention and that leaves me really stressed and irritable. It probably seems like a minor thing to other people but to me it is not so minor. I have reached the point in my life that I don't like to feel like I have to entertain everybody or babysit them in my house. I struggle alot with enforcing boundaries and that is what I plan to work on.

Have a great day everyone. Enjoy the beautiful weather and just be you


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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Mon 09 Jul 2012, 4:02 pm

Today I am greatful for my family, my recovery and all of the blessings it brings.
I'm greatful for the opportunity to reach out to another suffering addict.
I'm greatful that my hubby is back to work after vacation and I get some alone time.
I'm greatful for the wonderful people I have found that support me in my recovery both here and in the real world.

Today I will work on just trying to relax. I know there are probably 100 things that need my attention, but I need a break. I'm greatful that I can recognize that and not feel guilt or shame because of it.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Tue 10 Jul 2012, 5:31 pm

im grateful everyday i have 2 healthy children. im grateful for my recovery. and on another note i had to say this because im going through it as well. i havent seen my real father in 10 years. i knew i had a little brother by him but recently found out i also have a sister who is 4 months younger than my daughter. i made a facebook just so i could find him and i did. but nothing. when i was little my parents didnt get along. they divorced before i was 1 and their families didnt like each other either. they always used me against each other and so on and so forth. i also have a brother by my mom who graduated this year (yeah). but thankfully he grew up raised by his father. anyways im having a hard time with it cuz every time i see him online i try to talk to him but nothing. he ignores me like he always has. my husband doesnt understand why i keep trying. i feel like its because i want my kids to know that side of my family even though i dont. maybe its for the best. im just going back and forth on what to do. should i try still or should i give up for good?
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Tue 10 Jul 2012, 5:51 pm

Ircavnar666,
In my opinion, you will know when to give up on something like that. It's possible that your brother has a lot of pain from his upbringing that he is not able to deal with yet. If he hasn't responded, I would simply let him know that you are willing to be patient and maybe wait for him to contact you. It's without a doubt a difficult situation. Remember the only actions you control are your own, so if you've tried and your brother isn't willing or ready for healing you can' force it, but like I said you will know when it is time to give up. As long as you can handle the rejection of not getting a response, then go for it, but please don't blame yourself no matter what the outcome.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Wed 11 Jul 2012, 10:53 am

I am grateful to be here and to be alive another day
I am grateful for my recovery and my provider as I see so many people waiting to get into treatment and the lists seems forever long for some
For all of you here and for my family
I am grateful that soon we will be able to see a light above the stack of bills we have waiting to be pain.
A roof over my head
Air conditioning
Food in our cupboards



ircavnar666, I reconnected with my four oldest daughters on facebook. They found me and I had gotten close to two of them. In counseling my counselor has encouraged me to put myself out there and ask them if I could talk with them on the phone. We have been talking for about two years but never over the phone yet.
My counselor asked me if I could handle it if they rejected me and I told him yes, I had been without them for so many years before.
So I sent a message letting them know that I would like to call and talk to them. I did tell them no pressure if they weren't ready I would understand.
That was about a month ago. I haven't heard from them since.
They do stil go online and I have sent them messages as I did before without mentioning talking to them but I still don't get any response. It hurts because before they had said they wanted a relationship and to start over. One said she did not want a friend type relationship but a mother daughter relationship, I haven't heard from her either.
I am waiting and I will wait for however long it takes. But until then I can't let it drive me crazy. Because if I do, I will start to dwell on things and one thing could lead to another leading up to threatening my recovery.
My recovery had to be # 1 so I have to let it go for now.
I hope that you and your brother are able to connect and I will keep your in my prayers for a reunion someday. I understand your pain, don't let this control you
















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MonicaS

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Wed 11 Jul 2012, 10:57 am

Today I am greatful for my recovery.
I'm greatful for my family, both my recovery family and my biological family.
I'm greatful that I found the wonderful ladies here who have restored my faith in this process and in the value of one addict helping another
I'm greatful for the acceptance and love I feel from each of you.

Today I have meetings in the real world. I have made a couple of them mad, so I hope that I can stand on my principles and remember that we can disagree without being disagreeable. I will pray for strength to makes sure that my words adress the solution rather than add to the problem.

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Wed 11 Jul 2012, 4:29 pm

im sorry i was rambling so much i must have confused people. i know my oldest brother who is 18 on my moms side. im trying to reconnect with my father. from him i have a brother who is 9 a sister who is 4. i dont know if they know about me or my kids. but you guys are right. i dont need this to affect my recovery. me father called my one time in march and we both agreed that the past is past and we need to move on. its hard because hes doing the same things again. i guess i never forgave him for not wanting me. i guess the kid part in me thats still there. im trying to be a good mom to my kids but its so hard sometimes. today im thankful for being on suboxone for 3 months now. i couldnt handle my recovery without it . which scares me because i dont wanna depend on it like i did my pills. which is what im doing. i will get through this. thank you monicas and nannamom. it has been helping to talk with people who understand.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Wed 11 Jul 2012, 8:53 pm

Dont be so hard on yourself. ircavnar it is so hard to fogive those who have hurt us and move on. The only way I've been able to let go of my past and half forgive my mom is that I finally realized that holding onto the pain wasn't hurting her, it was hurting me. I forgave her so that I could move past it and get on with the life I wanted, instead of the life she taught me. Also, I know that you may feel like you're depending on the sub the same way you did the pills, but if you're working your program and trying to change your life, which it seems you are then it's not the same thing. Only you can judge for sure. I can guarantee when you were using your drug of choice, you most likely weren't even contemplating whether you could forgive and reconnect with your family or not. If you were any thing like me the only thing you were contemplating was how to get high or in my case at least well for a while. I don't do that now. Suboxone has freed me from that obsession long enough to allow me to work on the things that made me an addict, like my resentments from the past. I'm sure it's done the same for you, or I hope so.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:07 pm

thank you so much monicas. youre right. im going through the same pain i did as a child but hes not hurting at all. i thought i forgave him but i guess i never really did. today im greatful to be alive and in recovery. im still in the beginning process but i feel like im moving forward with my life now. im not stuck in depression as bad as i was. im greatful i enjoy waking up and not reaching for pills or counting them. im enjoying my kids instead of dreading taking care of them. ive never told anybody this but for awhile i didnt want anything to do with them. i just took care of them cuz i had to. i sound like a horrible mother but i dont feel that anymore. for that im greatful for suboxone. i dont think i couldve done methadone treatment. my moms been on methadone clean from pills for 1 year 3 months. its cool cuz mine and my moms sobriety anniversary is 1 year 2 days apart so we decided that we are going to celebrate it every year together. thank you for starting this topic. it makes me stop and think about things and then i get happy. i dont know what i would do without you guys. i dot know how to thank you. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:19 pm

No thanks necessary. That's the beauty of one addict helping another, the help goes both ways. Seeing people early in their recovery helps me to remember where I've came from and the things I've had to overcome. It helps me to remember what i don't want to go back to. I know exactly what you mean about your kids, I felt the same way, no joy only obligation. It's not like that anymore and I'm greatful for that.

Today I'm greatful as always for my recovery and the lessons I've learned (hopefully) along the way.
I'm greatful for my family, both my bilogical and my recovery families.
I'm greatful for the people I meet that make me realize how far I've come and how far I still have to go.
I'm greatful for my real world meetings, although they're challenging at times.
I'm greatful for my program, my sponsor, and my sponsees
Today I'm working on trying to be more patient in my life.
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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Thu 12 Jul 2012, 9:01 pm

I'm grateful that I made the first move and now I am back in contact with 2 of my sisters whom, I missed terribly.

I'm grateful that my kids are safe and responsible when they go out at night and that I trust them enough to let them go.

One more:

I'm grateful for the great support group we have here and for the twice weekly chats.
I am starting to really look forward to them.

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Humor : When you know better, you do better....Oprah Winfrey
Registration date : 2012-01-23

PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   Thu 12 Jul 2012, 9:14 pm

I forgot to add;

ircavnar666:
I pray for you to have the strength you need to get past the hurt your family has caused.
I reconnected again with 2 sisters but when the time is right.

Wishing you good luck with that.

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PostSubject: Re: What are you grateful for?   

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What are you grateful for?
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