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 I need help & I am scared

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livelovelaugh

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:26 am

Just so you know, you can talk about it. Just don't obsess. When we talk about things, we give them energy. For lack of a better example, it's like gossip. If someone tells a story to 1 person and that person never repeats it to anyone else, it just sort of dies down & gets forgotten about. However, if someone tells that same story to 3 people, then those 3 people tell 3 more people, the story stays alive. Therefore, it was given the energy to stay alive.

I'm not trying to get you to tell me your list Blue--LOL But you are welcome to share it with whomever you choose. Like I said, just don't think of it obsessively. It's kind of like how my husband touched that drawing he made of our devine kitchen every morning.

As for "The Secret", You can purchase the book, or the DVD. They turned the book into a documentary. I personally like the DVD, it gets us so motivated. It's about 1 hour & 30 min. long, but I find it very interesting. I usually prefer books to movies. I LOVE TO READ. But just because of the excitement I feel from the DVD (it's very motivational!) I'd rather watch it.

I saw my sub Dr yesterday, he upped my dose to 4mg twice daily. To be quite honest, I don't feel I even need that much more. So, I now get 8mg films, I've decided to cut it into 3rds. So I get 2.66mg in the morning & 2.66mg in the afternoon. Instead of 4mg in the morning & 4mg in the afternoon. I'm trying to keep it as low as possible. I took that dose yesterday afternoon & this morning & it seems to more than enough for me. I feel great! I worked a load in my driveway (in the back of our boxtruck) until 12:30am. Our shelves are practically empty (the food & paper products) after this busy shopping weekend. I used to have to take extra oxy to do this, but not this time. I had a little neckpain, but Motrin took care of that! This is very exciting for me! Every penny we made these last 2 weeks have gone right into our business account. Not one penny went to my so called "friends"

LIFE IS GOOD!

I WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY TUESDAY!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:49 am

I ordered the book yesterday and found the video today! Can't wait to read/watch them! LOL
I know I already said that but I said it again because I am so excited haha.

If telling about the list gives it energy then I'll tell about mine.
One list is for my Perfect Wedding. My fiance said we can't afford to do it the way I want after hearing about the "Law of Attraction" he has been thinking more positively abut it and hung my list up on the wall. (: I will have my wedding exactly the way I want.

Happy your doc upped your dose and you are feeling so well! I am so glad to hear motrin took away your pain that's a very good thing to hear! Good for you for saving your money and not giving it to those dealers! So PROUD of you! <3

On another note Today is my 4month sober mark! I am so happy about that! Smile

Have a happy Tuesday Rae, Blue and everyone else!! Smile
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Blue Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Tue 27 Nov 2012, 8:15 pm

Rae,
I'm glad your Dr upped your dose. The beauty of our recovery is that we are in charge of it.
If we feel we need more, we take it. When our bodies say we need less we drop some.
I've just dropped to 8mg down from 9mg. Each one of my dropped are 1mg at a time, per my Dr's instruction. It's worked great, I don't feel any withdrawal or cravings at all.

My list is work related. I will become supervisor or team leader soon and I wrote down all
aspects of my new position. I have worked very hard for this promotion and cannot
wait until it's finally here !!!!

I have a question; can you make a list for someone else? Like a close personal friend ?
Or relative? Or is it solely for ourselves ?

Jaz,
Congrats on 4 months !!! That's awesome girl !!! Your rocking it ! I can't wait to hear
all about your dream wedding when it happens. I'm so happy for you !

I have to go eat the last of the pumpkin pie LOL ( Sweet craving !)

Take care chickies !

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livelovelaugh

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 29 Nov 2012, 9:16 am

That is great Jaz! Your wedding will be perfect! And the fact that your fiance is being positive will make a huge difference! Congrats on 4 months! You sound so happy and that is a good thing! You give me hope Jaz. i heard this happy & energetic feeling I have will pass. I'm in "The Honeymoon" phase with Suboxone & it will pass. But everyone here sounds great aeven months after starting Suboxone, I've decided to not listen to what those other people say & just have my own experience.

And Blue, unfortunately you can't make a list for someone else. It has to be their energy. The universe is always in "your" favor. They would have to use their own energy to attract what they want. If you make a list for them, you will get what is to be theirs. I hope that makes sense. I asked that very question when I first learned about The Law of Attraction. And bless your heart for wanting great things for those around you. It shows how selfless you really are. The best thing to do is to teach them about "the Law of Attraction" & hopefully they can utilize it. That is the best gift you can give anybody. Well, that & pumpkin pie!

I do want to bring up something Nanamom said before I went into treatment. She said, "Just do it, you'll be happy you did & you'll ask yourself why you waited so long". She was right, I wish I started this earlier, but I am happy I'm here now, I feel great!



Thank You everyone!

HAVE A HAPPY THURSDAY!

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nannamom
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 29 Nov 2012, 4:01 pm

The "honeymoon stage"......Recovery is a never ending work of what you put into it. I have seen a lot of people loose that once felt feeling of new birth so to speak. But I don't think it is because they have lost that honeymoon stage. Some people don't know what to expect. When emotions start to return some people have a hard time dealing with them and don't know where to turn


I honestly believe that in order to keep it you have got to keep working on it. Just like life itself. You don't give up just because you have a couple of bad days, so why give up recovery after a couple of bad days?
It makes sense that the more of you that you put into something the more you are going to get out of it. There can be no exceptions in recovery.

I was reading everyone's recent posts a little while ago, I haven't been here as much as I used to be due to lack of internet but I do come on when I am able.
In reading all of your posts, I see a happiness and bonds of friendships. I can read smiles on all of your faces when you talk to each other and it is so wonderful to hear such happiness.
Life gets better with each passing day. Goals are realized but best of all,we are all able to wake up to see another day.
You all have so much to be proud of. Life is good

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livelovelaugh

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 29 Nov 2012, 4:25 pm

I agree nannamom. Everyday I am so thankful for my wonderful life. I'm proud of myself for seeking treatment. And I am so grateful for my supportive husband and friends (including my new friends I have made on this sight).

I see a therapist every week as part of my recovery. She, the doctor & myself agree that I would benefit more from one on one sessions (behavioral & coping). Apparently my childhood is a bit of an issue for me, so I have to face a few demons which is very hard but even when I leave the office in tears, I feel great anyway. Especially when I have hugs waiting for me at home. I live in a very loving household. Every person who walks through my door says they feel as if they've been embraced in a loving hug (that's the energy of my home) I lost a boyfriend in a car accident when I was 18 years old. He was my first love & always will be. My heart still hurts as I mention him, but he taught me such a valuable lesson. I've learned not to hold a grudge, we are all humans & make mistakes, they should be forgiven as soon as possible because you never know when that person will be ripped out of your life. Feelings can be so overwhelming, I chose to feel love & happiness. I think my "honeymoon phase" will stay with me forever. I don't drive a fancy car, we struggle financially, I don't have an iphone or a tablet. But I have the most amazing man as my husband (been together for 10 years), a wonderful 7 year old son, & 2 awesome stepsons that I adore. Oh, & 2 cuddly cats. LIFE IS DEFINITELY GOOD!

Everyday, I come on this site hoping to read a response or another post from my new friends. I am sending out hugs to all of you!
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 29 Nov 2012, 8:41 pm

I never got out of that honeymoon stage either.
It has been four wonderful months. I am thankful for everything I got back in life that I was missing before recovery. And everything that I have had through the whole process. Like my supportive fiancé and his family. They have accepted me and love me very much. And I love them for not giving up on me when I was in active addiction. Instead they helped me get into treatment. Everyday I am working on the things I struggle with (depression).

Sorry to hear your childhood was bad Rae.
I too had a bad childhood. An alcoholic mother and a heroin addict father. At 14 my dad was supporting my habit as well. He would get me the painkillers I needed.
I had to cut both my parents out of my life, because with them in it recovery would not have been possible.
I pray every day that they will get themselves sober and be a part of my life. But half of me resents them so much and wishes they were never around.

I also see a therapist, Debbie, once a week. She is absolutely amazing! I love talking to her. Its easy and I feel comfortable. Just like I do on this forum. I love being able to come here and get support and also help support others in any way that I can! Smile

Have a good night ladies. Smile
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Blue Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 29 Nov 2012, 8:48 pm

Rae and Jaz,
You've both overcome obstacles in your life and are better women for doing it !
Be proud of yourselves !! I am !

Rae, I sent you a private message about Chat. I already spoke to Jasmine about it.
Let me know after you read it. We are excited to start this new phase of our treatment
together !


Have a great night !!

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Fri 30 Nov 2012, 11:12 pm

Than you Blue!
I am very proud of myself. Smile
Thank you again for being proud of me! It really means a lot!

Have you heard anything from Rae about chat?
I really hope it gets started again. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 06 Dec 2012, 12:46 pm

Hey Rae. Haven't heard from you in a few days! Miss you here on the forum. Let us know how things are going for you and how you are doing!
-Jasmine
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livelovelaugh

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 06 Dec 2012, 4:28 pm

Hello!! I am so sorry I haven't been on. I have been so busy at work, I can't see straight! The truck just came so I have to run, but I wanted to let everyone know that I am thinking of all of you and you will hear from me soon.

xoxoxoxoxo

-Rae
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Thu 06 Dec 2012, 7:59 pm

Thanks for replying Rae! Was beginning to worry lol.
I see a lot of people came to the forum and only made a few posts and left!
I am happy to know that you are still coming here. Smile
I wanted to thank you again for letting me know about the law of attraction!
My second list is now come true! I got my new car yesterday! Smile
I also read the secret! What a great book!
Hope your life isn't too busy to handle.
-Jasmine
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livelovelaugh

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 8:54 am

Hey Jaz, tell me about your new car. How many things did you get off your list?

I do feel like life is too much to handle at times, but fortunately it's a passing feeling, I also have some breathing exercises that really helps keep me grounded wih the earth. I also know its the stress of the holiday season. Once it passes, I should be able to calm down a bit. Just 3 more weeks (after Christmas I have to deal with returns.) then I'll be able to focus more on myself.

I'd love to hear how "The Law of Attraction" worked for you on getting your new car. I made my list for "My Devine Employee" but I haven't found him yet. I'm sure the universe has presented him to me on a number of occasions, but because I was too damn focussed on other thing I missed the opprtunity. Either that or the wheels are still in motion to bring him to me. He may be living in another state right now for all I know. His girlfriend has to leave him first so he can move back home & get a job in my store bounce

Either way, the good new is, the universe will consistantly "present" this person to me until I hire him. I just need to be patient & pay attention.

Keep me posted!

PS---GREAT CHAT LAST NIGHT! I HAD FUN!!!
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 12:30 pm

My new car is an '04 impala. And it has 9 out of 9 on my list!
1: It's runs
2: it's a good family car
3: it's 4 doors
4: it's silver
5: it fits both car seats
6: I am comfortable driving it
7: it has low mileage
8: it has no damage
9: only one previous owner

So I got everything I wanted in my new car. Smile

Sorry to hear that things are so stressful! I hope they get better for you soon!
Glad to hear that you have these breathing exercises to help you! If you get a chance I'd like to learn them too!

Glad to hear that you're store is doing well, even though its stressing you out.

What I do when I am stressed out is sit down for a bit take some deep breaths and think about positive things.
Like blue said one day at a time!
If its stressful today handle whatever it is making you stressful and don't worry that tomorrow will be stressful. Just be positive and think that it won't be. Smile

I make a list for each day. Nothing big just a small list of my goals for that day. And so far every list has come true. Smile

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 4:50 pm

Congratulations on your new car Jasmine, I am happy that you are doing so well and are reaching your goals.
Both of you have brought so much positive radiation to the forum and it is good to see.

Rae, your employee is out there as you said. Time will bring them to you but it may take awhile as it has to be the right one.
Just remember the stress will leave but the positive and good will stay, surround yourself with as much positive as you can right now. Give a smile and receive many in return.
Sometimes when I am out and about doing errands I try to smile and say hi to as many people as I can just to see how many smile back. It helps my mood and kind of puts a spring in my step. You never know who might need a smile that day

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 6:29 pm

Thanks Dee I am really starting to reach all my goals! Smile
And I am so happy.

Yes Rae like you and Dee said you're divine employee is out there!
You'll find him.
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 7:31 pm

Jasmine,
We own an Impala and we LOVE IT !!!
It's a great car. Good luck with it !

I am so happy your lists have been working. I guess I reached really really high with my list.
I only made one list so far. It was an important list and I know alot has to happen in order for
it to happen.
I'm not giving up, but I've realized it's going to take awhile.
I know by July it should happen.

I am going to make some more attainable lists for now.

Chat was great last night ladies ! Can't wait to do it again !
My daughter left this morning and they made it there safely. I know she'll have a great time.
But I miss my baby !!!!!!!! It's the first time she's been this far away from me !

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 7:36 pm

Really! How long have you had it Blue? And what year is it?

I made one big list I know is gonna take a while for it to happen, my dream wedding, but I know it will happen. Smile
So try making a few smaller lists. Smile
That's what I do anyways.

Chat was great last night! I had lots of fun talking to you ladies! Can't wait for Chat on Thursday. Smile

Awe my baby has never been that far from me!
I don't think I could handle it! Lol.
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 10:55 pm

So funny, last night I mentioned how I never heard of Frost Valley, then today I saw it in a magazine and as I was driving back from an appt, I looked in my rearview mirror & the bus behind me said "Frost Valley" I smiled & thought of you blue!

I know how you mentioned you felt the list was too high of a stretch, but as long as you keep knowing it will happen, then it will. No matter how big or small. Like my list that's taking a while. All the ducks have to be in a row for it to happen. Usually we don't even see the lining up of the ducks as they happen (lol--too much metaphor)but sometimes it can take a while. That's why I usually suggest a list that is a bit more simple at first. Like I did for my dinette set or like Jaz with a car. These are things that we don't feel so passionate or emotional about. They are materialistic items. The lighter your heart is on the subject then more likely you'll receive it because emotions can interfere & you end up attracting the want or the need rather than what you are seeking. I don't know what your list was so please excuse me if I am off course here. But it's good info either way Smile Once you attract smaller, less meaningful things, you build confidence in how it works and it helps you "Know" from every part of your being. I know I'll get my devine employee, I just have to go through the motions (which can sometimes suck) until I get what I am seeking. I just happen to be a bit impatient. LOL

And WOW JAZ! 9 out of 9! Awesome! Congrats on your new car and I hope you & your son are feeling better today Smile

TOMORROW WILL BE A WONDERFUL.....BECAUSE I SAID SO AND I WON'T SETTLE FOR ANY LESS! I SEND MY HAPPY THURSDAY WISHES TO YOU ALL!

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:15 pm

Hey Ladies !!

Been watching the rock concert on TV 12-12-12 to donate money for my area since the hurricane hit.
Love my Bruce !

Rae, I did say what my list was. I am going to be supervisor of my dept. Or team leader. It will happen by the summer I think. When all the ducks line up !! I totally get what you meant by that.
I have the perfect smaller list idea ! I'll do it in the morning.
My daughter arrived safely in Frost Valley by 11am !! I know shes having fun. I miss her !!!

Jaz, my Impala is a 2000 and we've had many years !! It's a good reliable car.

And Rae, your right TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE GREAT BECAUSE I ALSO SAID SO AND I WONT SETTLE FOR ANY LESS
HAPPY THOUGHTS FOR THURSDAY LADIES


Be well,

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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:19 pm

Hello Ladies!

Like you both said.. Tomorrow will be great because I said so! Because we said so. Smile

That's awesome Blue. I knew they were reliable cars when I bought it. I was just curious. Lol.

Have a good night Rae and Blue.
And a great day tomorrow. Smile
Talk to you soon ladies. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:20 am

oh geeeez, I'm sorry blue, you did. My brain is overloaded...somethings gotta give. It's usually memory...lol.

I'm sorry I missed chat. How did it go?

Jaz, How are you & the baby boy? I hope your feeling better.

And I wish everyone a HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:20 am

Today is Friday right? lol
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Fri 14 Dec 2012, 1:33 pm

Yes Rae Today is Friday.
And I am feeling much better thanks for asking Rae!
Me and my baby boy are doing great! He is feeling much better as well!
He's been a crank for the last few days though lol. Got up at 4am the last 2 days! Idk how much more I can take! I've been very stressed out. But you know all about stress Rae! Wish we didn't have stress. Like Blue said in chat last night it's not good for our recovery.

Chat was great. It was just me and Blue and I had to cut it short because I had a cranky two year old and a fiancé who also had plans on the computer.

How are you doing Rae and Blue?

Also I realized I have never shared my whole story with you guys so I posted under "Soboxone Stories" and the subject is "How suboxone saved my life" And I wanted you girls to read it.
Whenever you get a chance it's there. I know the whole story of you two and you guys don't know mine. Thought I'd let you know that its there. Smile


Have a good day ladies! Smile
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PostSubject: Re: I need help & I am scared   Wed 23 Jan 2013, 12:45 am

Hello Rae!
It's been a while since we have posted here.
I just went back and read the thread from beginning to end.
I have a sort of longing. I want to go back to those days when we were closer and talked more.
I know you are busy. But you were busy then. How did you find the time then I wonder! LOL!
I looked forward to reading your responses and Blue's and Dee's. I still look forward to reading your responses. I just get them a lot less often now. Sad
It really makes me sad.

Anyways. I just wanted to say that you've come a long way!
I am proud of you! I love you
Much Love!
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