Suboxone: The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

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 My thought for today

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Elismamaw



Female
Number of posts : 13
Age : 50
Registration date : 2013-01-23

PostSubject: My thought for today   Thu 24 Jan 2013, 3:00 am

As I sit here and pace the room when I can no longer sit,I have to say I'm very grateful for finding this website and the hope it offers me...I feel AWFUL tonight,its my fourth day without my suboxone and the pain is crazy !!! On top of the pain,the damn cravings are enough to drive a sane person BONKERS !!! But I will make it through the night and,fingers crossed,I will have suboxone tomorrow !!!
So I thought I would share my thoughts here and see if they make any sense to anyone but me ?!?! lol! Here goes
Until you've walked a mile in my shoes,dont assume you understand my path,
Until you've laid sleeples in bed,with your muscles in knots and your mind racing desperately,dont assume you know what I'm enduring,
Until you've spent your rent or gas bill money or your grocery money or your daughters birthday gift money(mommy is still very sorry about that Kylee) on heroin,you SHOULD assume I'm just like every other junkie you've seen,
I'm complicated,an original,a dopeshooter,in rehab,falling off the wagon,I'm loved,hated,feared,mistrusted,
desired,deserted,left out,lonely,surrounded,misunderstood,ignored,educated,ignorant,funny,scared,I'm a mom, daughter,an
aunt and a cousin,a big sister,best friend,worst enemy,a mate,the homewrecker,that "junkie",searching,lost,found,wanted,
curious,complacent,questioning,demanding,passive,submissive and Eli's mamaw ,
,I'll be a million different things to a million different people,
but at the end of my day,when I get in bed,close my eyes and say my prayers to God,its for thanks for just one more successful day of sobriety under my belt,I'm just Tiff...the same scared little girl I've always been,I just understand a little bit more tonight than I understood this morning when I opened my eyes and said my prayers for just one more day of sobriety today please God.. So you see,I am just like every other "junkie" you've seen or met or heard about...WE ARE ALL ORIGINALS,SPECIAL CREATIONS SENT FROM HEAVEN TO STRUGGLE THROUGH THIS LIFE AND MAKE PEOPLE SEE,while we are all the same in Gods eyes,we are all UNIQUE in Gods eyes at the same time...
Well those are my thoughts on this very long night....And we all know what they say right??? Its always darkest right before the dawn.....
Good night and sleep sweet to anyone who reads these words and I pray your not up at 2 in the morning,reading them for the same reason I'm up at 2 in the morning writing them down !!! Much love to all,
Tiff sunny
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PostSubject: Re: My thought for today   Thu 24 Jan 2013, 1:28 pm

Hello Tiff!
I am sorry that you had such a long night! And I do hop that you have gotten some sleep! Though I know how hard it is to sleep when you're going through withdrawal. You feel exhausted yet you have insomnia. And it seems like there is too much pain to sleep through! I am so sorry that you are going through that!

You are right though! We are all the same on gods eyes and unique at the same time!
Just like us addicts, we are all the same, but different in our own ways!

I have spent my rent money, grocery money, birthday and Christmas money, gas electricity and water bill money. I regret doing so but I did it. And I feel terrible about it. I even stole money out of my fiancé's bank account! So I know how it feels to hit that all time low! And I'm sorry that you have been there!

On a positive note.. Today will be a great day! Because I said so! We have to make the best of each day! You may be feeling sick, but you have to find the good things in today! And take it day by day!

Have a wonderful day Tiff!

Much love! I love you - Jasmine
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