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 Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future

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pitbullmomma34

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PostSubject: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Wed 27 Mar 2013, 1:54 am

I understand first off where he is coming from to a point, but I think where he is misunderstanding this treatment might hold me back on being successful. The other night he asked me how many strips I had left as he normally does because I got 14 strips on the 15th which at one a day would have taken me to this Friday, well some days my dose goes a little higher and I ran out yesterday.
I have tried to explain to him that some days I take a 1mg piece for pain other than the 8mg a day that I take and being that I am not the best at cutting these suckers it can spill over to a 2mg piece. Or atleast it looks that way. I have the awfulest mess of teeth inside my mouth that you could ever imagine, PLUS Ive been having alot of back pain here recently. So in retrospect, my dose actually is more like 10mg a day. There are some days that it might go to 12mg, I know that I am supposed to keep it at one dose but I am actually on 16mg a day and I have only taken two ONCE since I have been back on them (had a slight mishap in November because of no money). I try to tell him that some people can go off of them in a few months and some people it takes years. He said that I should try my best to come off them within a year, I have been on them already for almost two years. It will be two years in July.
But my doctor told me where I slipped in November, that it reset my brain. I should not even worry about tapering or coming off right now and just enjoy addict free days for the time being. But everytime that he asks if I am even trying to taper, I feel stressed and try to explain to him what is going on. Today we were looking at real estate online, my mama's house is up for sale and we were looking at some of the cheaper houses for sale. There was one for sale, it was a cute little house for about 33,500 which if you had no money down and with closing costs the payment would have came to around 165.00 for 30 years.
He said, get off those strips and we will start looking at houses. I said hun, it doesnt quite work that way. He said, the money that we are spending every month for doctors visits and medication would more than pay for all our bills if we moved into that house. I told him that what if Im not ready for that in a years time. I told him it would be best if we waited atleast a year before we tried to get a home owner's loan so he would have a stable financial background more or less. He told me again to get off the Suboxone and we would start looking at small houses. We cant afford a 500 house payment on top of what we are paying now,but something like that would work perfectly. Its in town,the electric bill would be cheaper and its closer to his work. So the bills would essentially drop in price quite a bit.
My problem if I havent made it clear and sometimes I have that probvlem is how can I make him understand that a year from now I might not be ready. He claims where I have been on them for two years or almost two years that I should be close to coming off. What he doesnt seem to remember or realize is that back in November when I couldnt get to my visit,and my PCP put me on Tramadol's the first day I did real well and then after about four days I was on five pills a day instead of two. I was fixing to spiral back out of control when I came clean and told my husband what I had done. He started giving them to me himself because I was having miserable withdrawals from the Suboxone and they didnt last very much longer because I had taken so many already.I know that if I came off right now that I wouldnt be ready and that there is a possible relapse that could happen.If I try to explain this to him, he thinks that I am just wanting to stay on this medication forever.
Honestly if it was cheaper like the price of Subutex and my PCP could give it to me, I would get it and take as needed for pain because during the month I have some killer cramps during that dreadful cycle and TMJ pain and the like. Tylenol does nothing for cramps or mine anyways and the Subutex would keep me from using Lortab/Perc/etc and even if I just took a day or so, I dont think that it would be that hard on me if I didnt take it for say a week or so afterwards.
Am I completely out in left field here? Should I try to get my doctor to explain to him that Im not ready right now? I know a year isnt right now, but he keeps talking about it and it does make me nervous. When I found out that I had to come back last year until we could get money, it was not prepared for and I dealt with it better. I wish that day that I went to my PCP I just had asked him to write me Subutex, it apparently can be written for pain or addiction therapy. What should I do? How did you guys explain it to your significiant others? Or the ones in your family that were worried.

I just dont know what to do here, I feel stressed because of this and it bothers me. Sometimes I feel like I cant talk to him about certain things because I am still used to the reactions that my ex husband gave me and I am afraid that he will do the same. I told him today there is alot of things that I dont talk to him about because he gets defensive and thinks that I am wanting to argue. This isnt true, I just like to discuss things with him such as managing money because his mother didnt teach him how to do this and I am trying to do this now.
So basically if any advice could be given, I would greatly appreciate it. I am at a loss here and not sure how to go about getting this explained to him without him thinking that I am trying to say that I am right and he is wrong. Or that I am trying to stay on this forever. If I could find insurance that would reimburse the doctors visits and pay for a great portion of the medicine, i dont think that it would be that much of an issue. We are spending about 500 a month on my problem here.
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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Wed 27 Mar 2013, 9:05 pm

This is a tough one that I am sure other wives have dealt with including myself.

My husband is the one that made the phone calls and go me on suboxone. Once he realized it's gonna take awhile to come off it, he wasn't happy about it.
Although he doesn't hassle me about it.

Can you show him some internet sites, like this one so that he can learn more
about this medication ?
You also have to tell him, its proven that short term detox using Suboxone has a high relapse rate !! So the longer you stay on it and work on your recovery the better.

Hope this helps,

Blue

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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:55 am

Hi April,
I don't think it is the treatment that your husband is misunderstanding but the disease of addiction itself. Unless you have been addicted to a substance or anything for that matter it is hard to understand why someone would need to take medication long term. There is no way that anyone can try and guess how long someone should be taking Suboxone. To put yourself on a timeline would be asking for a disaster.
It might help for you to take him with you to your next appointment with your provider so that he can ask some questions and learn about your treatment.
Does he have anything that he is currently being treated for? If so, maybe you could use that as an example for him.
Like Blue said, there are a number of people who have gone through the same thing.

I have a few people ask me when I am getting off that "stuff" but no one in my immediate family. They are just happy that I am who I am now and not the person I used to be.
Blue made a good suggestion. There are some great websites out there that can be used for education.
www.medicalassistedtreatment.org
www.suboxoneassistedtreatment.org
www.suboxone.com
The National Institute of Drug Abuse: http://www.drugabuse.gov/
NIDA also has one that is an easy to read website about drug abuse: http://easyread.drugabuse.gov/what-is-addiction.php

The Url's that I've listed are for actual websites that can be used for education. They are not forums such as this one or Dr. J or Addiction Survivors. Everything listed on these sites are backed with references and research. (which is what we also try to do here)

I hope this helps out some. I would hate to see you come off of your medication before you are ready and have to start all over again. Please let us know how things are going when you have time.
Good luck,
Dee

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pitbullmomma34

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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Thu 28 Mar 2013, 6:52 pm

Well, where his mother was on so much medication and she was so dependent on pretty much all of it I think he is afraid that I will never want to come off of it. Not to mention its really hard to explain without him thinking that I am trying to stay on it forever and no matter how much I try to convince him otherwise, he says well I think that in the back of your mind you really want to stay on it and not ever come off. That is seriously not true, I do want to be off of it eventually but I know that this is not something that will happen overnight and I was ready for that when I decided to do this instead of some other treatment. Methadone was out of the question because those poor souls are hooked on that stuff for upwards of 10 and somethimes even more years than that.
I think that I will have my doctor set down with him and basically say look this is something that might take awhile, but when she is ready to come off we will do it the right way. My doctor thinks that he can taper me off and have it done within a month but I just dont see that happening. Around here doctors wont work with you very much at all, even tho you can write refills for Suboxone and you dont have to be seen once a month they would miss their money if they only seen you once every two months. They are just really strict in my area, well basically all over the state.
I think even though he says the cost isnt the problem, in the back of HIS mind the cost does weigh on his mind. I can understand that though, it is an expensive treatment. I should have kept my mouth shut when I went for that interview and not told them that I was in this treatment and we would have two incomes instead of one. It would have made things alot easier, oh well maybe his work will start hiring again and I can get in with him.
It definitely would make things alot more easier around here at home.
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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Thu 28 Mar 2013, 8:03 pm

When you went on that interview did they ask you about treatment or abuse?
Your right, next time don't say a word. The stigma is horrible and to think that it holds so many people back from jobs they can do. Your treatment has nothing to do with the work that you do. Unless you happen to be a truck driver and are in mmt. That is another story all together.
Good luck with your husband and the job search. We are here for you if you need anything.
Dee

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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Wed 03 Apr 2013, 11:32 am

Hello Dee and April and Blue!
Sorry I haven't been around much. But I'm here now!

April, I'm sorry to hear that your husband is not understanding your treatment or as Dee said he's not understanding the addiction itself.

Dee did provide some very good links too. You should show they to your hubby. And let him read them or maybe you read them to him.

I too have had problems getting a job because of me being on suboxone. Every time they find out that I'm taking it they immediately tell me that they're not interested. Or that I'm not right for the position or some sort of bs like that.

I was lucky to find the job that I have now. (I just started a couple weeks ago.) I wasn't really looking for a job until me and my fiancé broke up a month ago. He became physically abusive and I had to take my kids and get out of there. So his parents set me up with an apartment. Paid my first months rent and deposit. And I found my job a week later! I am so lucky for this job. I'm an in home nurse. I take care of an old man. Cook for him clean for him and set up his IV every day.

Anyways.. The only reason I got my job was because the drug test they had me do didn't test for suboxone. Thankfully. The other places did. But everything happens for a reason! If I had gotten one of those other jobs that I probably would have hated I wouldn't be at the job I am now. Which I LOVE by the way!! It's great and I make good money.
I make enough to pay my bills and with plenty extra to put I. My savings account. I don't have much bills. My rent is $650/month and that includes water and electricity. All I have to pay is the gas/heat bill. My other bills are just my phone $45/month and my Internet $30/month and my car insurance $120/month. (Thank god I own my car now because that payment way killing me I'm so glad it's paid off!) I don't have much when it comes to bills. And when my insurance stops paying for my suboxone in a few months I'll still be able to afford it out if pocket. (On my state Medicaid only pays for suboxone for 1 year.) So I am thankful I found such a good paging job! The other jobs that I didn't get were just minimum wage. (Which is $7.40/hour here.) I make $15.25/hour at this nursing job so you can tell there's a big difference in my paychecks!
I can finally afford to spoil myself and my kids! Smile

Anyways I feel like I've been rambling. Time to wrap up this message.

I will pray for you that you will find a job. I wish you good luck with your job hunting. I hope you're doing well. And that you have a great day!!

Much love. I love you Jazz.
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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Wed 03 Apr 2013, 1:41 pm

Well the other day I kinda snapped at him and didn't really mean to, he was fixing to ask me what I was doing when I was opening a strip packet. I thought that he was asking me how many I had taken or something and being that I am taking them correctly, I do get defensive about it. He said fine I wont ask you no more about it. I told him that it was fine but I am having some stress issues right now. Its family stuff, not me and him but something going on across the road which is my mother and the brat grandson that she takes care of. Anyways, I told him that I was doing fine and that this is a long process, we will talk to the doctor about It when we go in there on the 16th but he needs to learn to back off a bit.
I told him and I think that this might have been what got him to understand a bit, I said hunny it didn't take me overnight to get hooked on the stuff, and it wont take overnight to get off of it. My brain has to heal, which he always comes back with a joke because its just his nature. I know that sounds bad, but it really isn't. I am used to it now, I have to tell him to stop sometimes though. He doesn't like when things get too serious, although it does call for serious times every now and then. he would prolly flip his lid if he read that I was discussing our problems on a forum site. Cant really say for sure, but I have a good feeling that he might.
His job pays 14.22 a hour right now which is tons better than minimum wage which is 7.25 here I think. I told him that when they go to hiring again for first shift I will try my best to get hired on there. We would be WELLLL off if I could get in there as well even if we had a short week or something. I am so happy that things are going well for you. It seems that I have a hard time getting people to understand this, I figured it would be a little less stressful doing this but I guessed wrong somewhere down the line. Its not as bad as it could be, I will admit that. I could be with my ex husband and I would be still taking pills, he wouldn't let me get into treatment.
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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Wed 03 Apr 2013, 1:56 pm

Glad to her from you April!
I'm glad that he finally started to understand a bit when it told him you didn't become an addict over night and you won't heal over night! That's progress! Good for you! Smile

I had the same issue with my mother in law not understanding about addiction and suboxone treatment. She said I was just trading one drug for another. Which in reality is not true. I am not abusing my suboxone like I had abused the pills and patches. So there is a big difference. She finally started to understand when I said something similar to what you said to your hubby. I said "I took the pills and patches for over 5 years. Do you expect me to quit and be alright after only a few days? I need time on suboxone and out of active addiction. Time to heal and time to learn to deal with my emotions that I was covering up with the drugs that I was using." And she finally started to understand. I also explained to her that addiction is a diseas and I am using suboxone to treat it. Like how I take my Prozac and abilify to control my bipolar disorder. Or how somebody with diabetes takes insulin.

I don't know if I've told you, but I've had a lot going on in my life the past month or so. And a lot of things have changed in my life. Mostly for the better. I've just learned that I've got to stay positive, be positive, feel positive and act positively.

My fiancé if 3 years went and put his hands on me. He hit me. He was way out of line. So I packed up me and the kids and moved back in with his parents. Well he goes and loses our house so he had to move back in with his parents. So they put him up in a hotel. They didn't want us living together after what he had done to me. While he was on a hotel we found me an apartment. They paid my first months rent and deposit (I had to pay them back if course) and helped me to move in within a couple says. A few days after dining my apartment I found my job. I was able to pay all of my bills, pay back his parent, but a new laptop and spoil my son with my first paycheck! It felt so great to finally be independent. And I couldn't be more proud of myself.

Anyways that's enough about me!

I'm sorry to hear that you are having family problems! And I hope that things get better for you soon! I will pray for you!

Times are tough but you'll pull through! You're a very strong woman and I have faith in you! You've come a long way!! And you'll go even further if you keep on the track that you are on!!!

Much love. I love you Jazz.
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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:52 am

hi pitbullmomma. my name is randi and i havent been on here in a while.ive been on suboxone just over a year now. i started out at 1 strip a day now i have tapered myself down to half a strip a day. my dr said i might be on it up to 2 years and my husband DID NOT like that at all. my mom has been on methadone for 2 years now and sadly i dont see her tapering anytime soon. my husband has his moments where hes like so have you tapered this month? both his parents were addicts so i guess hes tired of dealing with it. before i got on suboxone i would take up to 10 norcos in a day. if i couldnt find them it would be somas, tramadol, anything my family had to make my pain go away.i was that way since i was 13 and now at 23 and 1 year sober im finally loving life.even though his thoughts seem to go back and forth on this my hubby has helped me through every single step. when i couldnt get out oof bed, he took care of the kids. when i got on suboxone he kicked me out of bed and told me i had help now so i had to help him. it does scare me when i think about stopping completely because i wont have anything to take away my pain. my hubby just tells me get used to it and i have been.sorry i started babbling. i read your post and felt i needed to say something. i hope everything is going great for you and your family. until next time
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PostSubject: Re: Husbands outlook on Suboxone in my future   Fri 09 Oct 2015, 2:58 pm

I guess your husband doesn't see your addicted past as a disease that never fully goes away. Suboxone can be a band-aid for some. Hope you were eventually able to get the home that you wanted.
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