Suboxone: The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

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 Welcome arrakty

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nannamom
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PostSubject: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 10:09 am

Welcome arrakty,
And Happy Thanksgiving to you. Tomorrow is the day that we celebrate and remember what we are thankful for. I have many things to be thankful for, and one of them is the second chance I have in life now that there's a medication around to help us with our addictions. If it weren't for MAT I can honestly say that I wouldn't be here today. Many times through out my using I went down that tricky road of no return only to be lucky enough to have survived.
How are you doing on your journey? My name is nannamom, and I'm glad to meet you.
Sending you warm hugs of many
nannamom

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bfye

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 5:31 pm

Hi Arrakty,
How are you doing? How long have you been on the Suboxone? Is it going well for you? I'm BFye & I am also on the Sub. I have been on it since this past May & believe that it is the only way for me to be able to stay off of opiates. I'm so thankful to be out of that cycle. I have a future again & can function. It has to be a miracle drug if I can stay off of them... I guess just because nothing had worked the 500 times I had tried to quit before, I was giving up hope. Suboxone has helped change that. I won't say that there aren't bad days, but nothing compared to where I was when I was using. It's getting better & better.
I hope that your having good results as well. I'd love to hear how you are getting along.. Happy Thanksgiving & Welcome, BFye
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 9:40 pm

Greetings to you arrakty: So glad to have you on board with us. I'm Barbara Rue, the moderator and was at work today or I would have welcomed you sooner. I've been on Soboxone for two years and holding on with 4 mgs or less a day. I too, am thankful for this wonderful medicine which has given me my life back so I can work and take care of my home and most important of all, my home here. We are here if you need anything or just want to talk. Have a wonderful holiday. Yours in recovery, Barbara Rue
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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 10:25 pm

Thanks for the welcome Barbara and everyone,
Firstly, let me say that i'm honored to be on this site with brothers & sisters on the program.
I've been on subutex since September and all but a little hicup ( us addicts seem to always have to push the envelope) in early October my treatment has turned my life around.
I'm still on 24mgs cause that's what works for me, I had a massive opiate tolerence so it took time to drop from the max amount.
I plan to be down to 16mgs by christmas if all goes well in my life and break it down monthly from there.
I am on subutex rather than suboxone as I get more pain relief with out the naloxone, funny how that works, it shouldn't make much difference i'm told, but I guess everyones body chemistry is unique.

Was anyone on the msn suboxone forum? I've been off line a few weeks and things have changed?
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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 10:46 pm

Arrakty, I'm glad someone is up! I was just watching the board and I saw your reply. I'm glad things are working out for you. Everybody works their recovery differently. Like you said, it has a lot to do with how much and how long you used. For me, I was up there and running out in two weeks and spending all my money looking for more. I think of what a fool some people must have thought I was. Now I'm okay with myself and besides getting some medical things taken care of, I'm in good shape. How about you? I've been on Suboxone for two years and down to 4 mgs a day or less some days. I will know when I'm ready to go down further. Glad to hear from you. Hope you will stay around. Yours in the struggle, Barbara
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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 11:04 pm

Hi barbara,
I would like to say that i'm in good shape, better shape than I was is probably more acurate! Still have trouble sleeping, my doc scripts me klonipin for anxiety and to relax but I try not to take them too often cause i'm very aware of cross addiction. Plus I really don't like the way they make me feel.
I've been going to local na meetings as per advise from my therapist, It helps with the understanding of the disease from an emotional point of view when you listen to others feelings, but I still kinda feel shame when they preach 'total abstinance is the only way', yet there I am still taking stuff, can't quite get my head around that one, and I don't feel as though I can admit my sub use to the group, am I an oxymoron!
whatcha think?
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 11:34 pm

Hey, I use to go to A.A. and N.A. I finally learned that no matter how clean you are, there's always people who can pick you apart. I went to get what I needed out of the group and what people thought or had to say was theirs to deal with. People will always find something to talk about cause of many reasons. One person told me if you didn't have three months bills put in the bank, you weren't working a good program. To me, if I'm not out in the street chaseing down whatever I can get, then I'm working the best program I can. This was good enough for me and something I could live with. As long as I don't feel guilt, then I know I'm not going to use. If you LET these people make you feel guilty, then it's time to find other people who don't. To help you sleep, relax your jaw completely and reverse your breathing. When you are awake, you inhale and exhale; when you are asleep, you do the opposite. This is how you can tell if someone is asleep. If you will try this, you trick your mind into going to sleep. I hope I have helped. Nannamom had some good advice on going to sleep. Thanks for sharing, Barbara
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 11:47 pm

Arrakty, I'm going to bed to get up early to start cooking some deserts to take to my nieces house tomorrow. You're doing well because you are sharing and caring about yourself. Time is on your side, so give your mind a rest and things will work themselves out. Sleep well. Give yourself some pats on the back. Good night and have a nice holiday. If there's anything that's bothering you or you need something, let one of us know. We'll figure it out. Barbara Rue
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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 26 Nov 2008, 11:57 pm

Thankyou & Goodnite
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nannamom
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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Thu 27 Nov 2008, 3:08 am

In the early days of my recovery I used to think I was weak because I had to take a medicaton to help me stay off of drugs. I used to listen to other people when they would tell me that i was just substituting one drug for another. I remember that a friend of mine would always ask me, " When are you going to stop taking that stuff" I would always avoid her question, and after awhile I became ashamed that i couldn't do it cold turkey. Then one day when I went see my counselor I asked her about it. And she told me that there was nothing wrong with it. She exlained to me that just like heart patients need their medicaton, we addicts need ours. I'd like to say that fromt hat day on I belived her, but it still took awhile for me to believe it. But now I do. I am a heart patient, I had 2 heart attacks last March, and without my medicaton my chances of having another one are greater. I'm also hypo thyroid, and without that medication I get very ill. So if I were to go without my Suboxone, I know in my heart that I would use. And I would die.
So please remember that when they preach " Total Abstiance" you don't have to be ashamed that you take a medication for your disease, I'm sure that there are some people there that also take medication for theirs.
You might try asking your counslor f there are any meetings in your area that support the use of MAT.
Please be careful when taking your klonopin, as it is a benzo and can be very dangerous when mixed with your suboxone. Is it your Suboxone provider that prescribes it for you? I only ask because I worry and don't want anything to happen to you.
sending warm hugs
nannamom

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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Wed 03 Dec 2008, 9:49 am

Thankyou nannamom,
Yes, my dr who provided sub also scrips klonopin for me, I don't take much, 1/2 a(1mg) tab to sleep or when i'm anxious, I don't really like using them and i'm aware of the cross addiction problem so i'm carefull and always ask myself if it is necessary right now.
As you, I have problems relaxing so I don't sleep much, I think that the longer i'm in sobriety the less angst i'll feel & the klonopin can go down the loo!!
As always I appreciate the concern,
Luvs
Arrakty
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Thu 04 Dec 2008, 9:47 pm

Arrakty, It's a wonderful thing when you can feel okay with everything and you feel like you're ready to bless others. I believe this comes from being straight long enough to go home to the little person who didn't know what being a loser meant. There are other times when it's rough to change the past...a hard past. Being rested and at peace with yourself is where you find your inspiration to feel better. Nannamom and I are going down the same road with some of the same illnesses, but in spite of everything, we are taking care of our ailments by strength from somewhere to get better. What I'm trying to say is just keep it straight up and all will work itself out. There are times when I can feel I have been healed. A weakness in me says I'm not going to make it, But there's a we that says I will. Together we can get ourselves back. Alone, a bottle of many kinds awaits. I wish you a whole new life. Yours in the struggle, Barbara Rue
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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Thu 04 Dec 2008, 10:46 pm

Many a true word there Barbara, every day was a struggle for a long time, i've been fighting this addiction on and off for 2 years, I was a super high tolerance user so it's taken my brain quite a while to get used to switching to subutex. I Think that the hardest shift for me was the realization that "my perception" of how I appeared to the people that are close to me was different from their perception.
Looking back with trust that those people who love me and are honest with me about the reality of my actions was quite shocking.
I really thought that I was able to keep my secret and nobody needed to know, I never thought I looked messed up, didn't nod out or stumble about infront of them,
so how would they know?
Oh how little we realize the give aways!!!
I now feel less like a tasmainian devil spinning out of control with the chain around me getting tighter as I spun out.... That in its self is a releasement from the bondage of drugs. Yippee I can be me again, just have to find out who I really am and I believe I will be ok
I will be here to give support and learn to grow as I read important testamony from those in recovery
Thanks and god bless to all
Arrakty Very Happy
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Thu 04 Dec 2008, 11:21 pm

You know, I can spot an opiate head a mile away, (and it's a mile I never want to walk again) all slump shouldered and frozen faced with vacant eyes. The angels must have been singing when I quit. I know I laid in their arms for nights till my meds got regulated and it started to work for me. I was so happy I danced with my dog, a Britney Spaniel named Sadie who was crazy enough to dance with me. Another thing the dogs are glad about is now I eat breakfast and they get some bagel or yogurt. Yes, this is totally two different behaviors.We are free from the bondage of ourselves and are wide open to a great life and future. Poeple will now see a difference in you and after a while it will be the normal you study Then we know we made it back to where we want to be. Yours in the struggle, Barbara Rue
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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Fri 05 Dec 2008, 8:52 am

Morning all,
Was wondering what happened to rozi fox? Did she move to another web site when msn shut down? I thought she was part of the admin of sat.
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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Fri 05 Dec 2008, 10:06 am

Good morning Arrakty,
Good to see you early this morning, It's a beautiful day here where I am, I can't believe the sun is shining as it is, knowing we have a snow storm headed our way.
Question As for your question about Rozi Fox. I can't honestly say what she is doing at this moment, as I haven't spoken to her as of late. Yes, she at one time had been employed by MAT.

Our Deborah here, is the original owner and administrator of MAT.
And through her hard work and dedication we have been able to continue on here, cheers Which has been a great relief to me. She (Deborah) may be able to answer your question. I know that she will be on here today and will answer as soon as she see's your post.
I hope that all is well with you. I will be here off and on today so if you need anything just let me or Barbara know and we will be happy to help you.
Your,
nannamom
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Fri 05 Dec 2008, 11:49 am

Arrakty, Did you know I was born in Derbyshire, England? I was born at the end of the bombing of Eastend (Hackney) where my Mother is from. We went to the country side to avoid being bombed. We also live 150 miles apart. We have a lot in common and hope we can work to get each other well and if you want to keep it totally on line, that's fine with me as long as we are helping each other out of the darkness and into the light. Your wellness will come, just keep trying and it will work out.I'd love to hear more about you. How strong is your accent? My Mother still has hers after 50 years of being over here. Answer when you will, Barbara
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Fri 05 Dec 2008, 10:28 pm

How are you? Are you still working on getting better? I ask because I care and want to know from day to day where you are and how you are doing. Sending you my best, Barbara Rue
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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Sat 06 Dec 2008, 9:02 am

Yes, yes, and always I will be working on my recovery! It has taken 2 years of "brain fog" and trying different methods of quitting to get me to a place of understanding. Not just educationally about addiction, but understanding that if I don't put my recovery first then nothing else in my life has a chance of being sucessful. I was in active addiction for 15 years total so, for me I see 15 years of working my recovery daily to get better.
I'm now at a stage that I can cope with the new emotions I feel, I have less fear of confronting issues and that I think about negative consequenses before impulsively saying "yes" to everyone at my own expense.
I validate myself for the progress I make and have quit beating on myself for the blunders of my past............ that's a biggie for me!
Learning to live life differently at 43 is a challange but one I'm committed to because I know it will save my life.
That's all for now, Just one day at a time.
xox Arrakty
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Sat 06 Dec 2008, 1:14 pm

Arrakty, you are still very young and have a good chance to begin thinking about saving for your retirement and by then you life will be back to normal and you can enjoy yourself and relax. My mistake was waiting till I was much older to get my retirement fund started. The thing I can be thankful for is I am trying at any age and feel I will enjoy the rest of my life helping others. I can tell you have came a long way and feeling joy inside. Have a good day. Your friend, Barbara
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PostSubject: Greetings! Arrakty   Sat 06 Dec 2008, 4:00 pm

Welcome! My name is Deborah, Arrakty. I am the Administrator, CEO and owner of the previously owned MSN forums and websites. MSN was closing all their forums down in February and I'm not sure if you still there when she announced it.
Rita was working for us but she did resign. Her contract expired at the end of December and she was on month to month basis. She has always had the desire to go out on her own and I believe she has done just that. I am not sure of the URL but I will see if I can locate for you. Maybe there is someone else here that could share it with you if they have it. I know some of the patients here are new and some are old but if anyone has her address, I am sure Arrakty would thank you for sharing it with Him.
I am sorry we had to close it but slowly everyone is finding their way back. Barbara and Nannamon was on the old one and I am not as familiar as they are with everyone but I am sure others will find us. I want to welcome you and I am going to try and spend more time with all of you. I am glad to hear Subutex is working out for you. Evidently you must be having some pain to be prescribed Subutex. Do you plan on staying on Subutex or will you later transfer to Suboxone?
We just want you to know we are here for you and if you have any questions, we are here to answer them. If you just need encouraging we will be here and of course if you had a rough day then we want you to know you can come here and tell us all about it. This is your "Safe Haven." We are trying put together a "Group Of People" who really want to recover and become the best they can be.
I don't know about all of you but I like having a place I can come and know the people are my friends and they aren't going to put me down in any way no matter what I have done. The world outside can be very cruel and especially with us but I am trying to provide you a "Safe Haven." We will not criticize you, nor ridicule you if you fail but we will try and help you get back on your feet again. I want all of you to feel compassion when you Log In and know no matter what the hour you can find someone available to help you.
If you can't find any one here then you can always reach us on our Hotline. We stay open twenty-fours every day and night and we usually do receive many more calls during Holidays. You can always reach us by phone at 770.428.0871 (Office) and if it is busy then try 770.527.9119. If you just can't afford to call then you can let me know by sending me an e-mail at MATdirector@aol.com and send me your phone number and let me know when you want me to call. I will give you a call at my expense any hours of the day or night.
What else can I say? I'm available to you and we do have two new Moderators and they were both on the old MSN and I have asked if any oof you know Rita's address and if you would give it to Him, I am sure He would appreciate it. It has been my pleasure, Arrakty to meet you.
Thanks for joining and I'm really glad you found your way back to us.
Deborah
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arrakty



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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Sun 07 Dec 2008, 9:26 am

Hi deborah & thanks for the welcome, also nice to see with whom i'm talking!

I am on subutex rather than suboxone because I have more pain control and less headaches on the med without the naloxone. I'm at a stage in my recovery where the likleyhood of taking a bunch of narcotic with the sub is unlikely! so the 'Blocker"
does more harm than good. What do you think of this stratagy?
I am currently on 24mg and plan to decrease to 16mg after the holidays. I also take Klonopin 1/2mg maybe 3-4 times a week to relax my body ( anxiety & fibromyalgia). I realize the complications of benzo/sub therapy so I'm super carefull with my meds and use the klon to a minimum.
All for now.....On the run
xox Arrakty
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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Sun 07 Dec 2008, 11:33 am

Hi Arrakty,
I saw your post this morning & something you mentioned caught my eye. I also have been getting daily headaches since starting the Subs, although I don't know that it is necessarily the medicine or if it's stress or trouble sleeping. It has all seemed to go hand in hand for me. Did you start getting headaches from the Suboxone? Is it the naloxone that causes them? I know that my dr. told me it is a common side effect of the Subs. (as is insomnia) I've just been trying to deal with it because I'm so thankful to be on them. I alternate between Tylenol, Excedrin & Advil to try to control it. Also, this probably sounds silly, but even a hot shower helps me! It seems to help my muscles relax. Do you have any other suggestions?
I also was going to mention the danger of the Subs with benzos, but it seems that you already know. In the treatment center that I attend, there was a guy in our group who was on the Subs & also took benzos. He really did seem to need them, but he went to sleep one night & never woke back up. It was so sad. He had been working on getting his life back together & that's when it happened.. Please be careful. (as it sounds like you are)
Hope you are doing well. I'd appreciate any feedback regarding the headaches or anything else you'd care to pass along.
Thanks! Wink
Luv,
BFye
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Barbara Rue

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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Sun 07 Dec 2008, 11:39 am

It's Barbara, Arrakty. I just wanted to say I read your post and sounds like you are in control of your recovery. I've never taken Subutex. My doctor started me out on Suboxone even tho I do have a lot of pain with Arthritis and past injuries. I just have to do how much I can and rest when it's too much for me. I'm taking 2 to 4 mgs a day and I've found out if I take more when I don't feel well, I just end up with a headache. Less is better for me. I'm hoping this is telling me I'm ready to taper down more as I've been on this dose for two years. I went down to 1 mg at one time and couldn't function and work at this low of a dose. It's been six months, so I'm getting ready to try it again. I can tell you are being very brave with your recovery and I'm here to support you in any way I can. xox to you too, Barbara
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PostSubject: Re: Welcome arrakty   Sun 07 Dec 2008, 12:10 pm

Hi arrakty,
From what I've been told the "average" dose for Suboxone is at 16mg. per day. As long as your stable in your recovery I think that you should do fine at 16mg when you decide to taper, as long as you do it slowly and don't try to rush yourself. 16mg is the dose I was put on 2 1/2 years ago, somedays I don't take that much. It seems that the longer I've been on it, the less I need to take. But before decreasing your dose, talk to your doctor so that he can help you as needed.
Barbara is right when she says "less is more" The ceiling dose for Suboxone is 32 mg. Any more than that is a waste and can make you ill. Your doing well in your recovery and I know how proud you must be.

BFye,
The " blocker" in the Suboxone is the naloxone and can cause headaches, sometimes people that have the headaches are switched over to the subutex as in arrakty's case. If your headaches are to the point ot where you can't get any relief from them then you may want to talk to your doctor. But I feel that I must add, without the naloxone your risks are higher of abuse than with. So if you have any doubts, I'd try to stick with the suboxone itself. What is your dose right now? How do you take it during the day? Do you take it all at one time? or in split doses throughout the day? Are you sleeping any better than you were before?
Let me know how you are and i will check back with you later on today or this evening.
Nannamom/Dee
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