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 DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend

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Sammy



Female
Number of posts : 24
Registration date : 2009-01-19

PostSubject: DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend   Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:58 am

Hi Dee And Everyone
It's been awhile since I post, Well I'm doing ok, But I did relape's and You guy's are the only one's I talk to or can talk to because you totally understand, I took a Hydrocodone, and I took a Temazepam, which is a sleeping med, I only took 1/2 of 7.5 Hydrocodone and the Temazapam I took 2 on different night's, I am percribed Valium, But I couldn't sleep those 2 night's anyway's, Because I thought it was Friday and I thought I lost Mine and my husband's take-home bottle's they gave us another Urine, My husband Took more Hydro's then I, I just hope It don't show with me, I do get afraid of Atharotie, And I do feel like a heal, I had my period when I went in, so I was Emtional, I'm On 105 mg's of Methadone, They did let us take our Wensday, and Thursday take-home with us, But like I said we had to give them a urine, so I am scared, Dee what do you think will happen is the worst My take home will be taken away and how long do you know? I know They gave the Urines because I was Emotional, "Crying" because I thought it was Friday, so with That "Being Confused" and Crying, I know that's the reason they gave us both Urine's, I just hope they don'e break down the Benzo's Because I am on Valium but if they break down the Benzo's The'll probally see the Temazepam, which is a Benzo. But I have Learn something here It's Just not worth taking a pill your not suposed to take, so I have Learned, I suffer from Panic attack's That's Why I hate going everyday, and Sunday are difficult because they open late, They open Early on Saturday and Late on Sunday's, Please get back to me with advice, or just to talk to me, I really need a Friend Love Alway's Sammy.
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nannamom
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Female
Number of posts : 2207
Age : 59
Humor : Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. -Christopher Reeve
Registration date : 2008-11-09

PostSubject: Re: DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend   Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:26 am

Hey Sammy,
We are all your friends here. No matter what you do, you can depend on us to be here.
The Temazepam as you know is a benzo, so hopefully it will show up as a benzo and since you are on Valium anyway, and with permission from your clinic for that one I hope, you should be okay there. As for the Hydrocodone, when did you take that? you took 1/2 of a 7.5 mg pill.If you took it a few days prior to your UA I would hope that it won't show up. I'll have to check with Deborah on that though.
What your clinic does depends on how strict or lenient they are. Have you tested positive before?
Let me tell you though. The more you worry, the worse your going to feel. Mistakes happen and that is what you did.
You made a mistake.
I don't consider it a relapse.
You did not go out seeking pills for the sake of getting high. You took them because you thought you had lost your Methadone. Have you found those bottles yet?
Tomorrow is Friday, I take it that you are due to go back to the clinic then am I right? No matter what happens, slow down and remember how far you have come.
If you loose your take homes for while, you can deal with that. You did it before you got them.
I know you hate going to the clinic everyday. It won't be for too long I hope. I will check in with Deborah and let you know what she says. Okay.
Keep me posted.
Check in tomorrow.
Here if you need me,
Dee

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Nannamom
db622@hotmail.com


"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin."
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bfye

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Female
Number of posts : 695
Age : 41
Humor : There is no room in your heart for anger when you are filled with gratitude.
Registration date : 2008-11-20

PostSubject: Re: DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend   Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:11 am

Hi Sammy,
I don't know you very well. My name is Beth & I've only been on the Suboxone, so I don't have much to say about the Methadone clinic or the rules, as I haven't tried that before, but I do understand the concerns you are having. It's kind of like the same as waiting on your medication to be called into the pharmacy & you don't know what they plan on doing, how long, etc, etc. Just the worry & panic of knowing that it's going to be there. I also take Valium & I feel like half of my anxiety is just wanting to make sure that "I'm covered" to have enough for my next dosage. That creates even more stress, just the "panic" of not knowing what is going to happen. This is my own personal opinion, but I used to have to do weekly urines (before I was in true recovery) & I knew that I could take or use opiates on Friday & that it wouldn't show up in my urine late Monday afternoon or definately by Tuesday. And I wasn't only taking one half of a Vicodin 7.5- I was "loading up" because I knew that I could, I guess. My point of all that is that if you only took half a pill, a couple of days ago, I truly believe that you'd be clean for your UA, especially if its on Friday. And being on the benzos, are they able to break it down to the specific "drug" within the class? I'm sure that there is advanced testing, but with them already knowing that your on Valium, seeing positive for benzos wouldn't send a red flag since it's this way every time. Why would they even think or consider breaking it down when you've tested positive each time for them since they are prescribed to you? My personal opinion is that your going to be okay & that this may've just been an "eye-opener" for yourself. I know that I pull those on myself once in a while, if not more. I don't know if I've ben any help to you whatsoever, but my reason for responding is knowing that feeling of "Somebody, Please Help ME!" and that was the feeling I had after reading your post. I'm sorry that I cannot help, but I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers, as well as reminding you of all the strength you do have inside of you!!
Please let me hear how things work out for you.
Your Friend in Recovery,
Beth I love you
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Sammy



Female
Number of posts : 24
Registration date : 2009-01-19

PostSubject: Re: DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend   Thu 25 Jun 2009, 1:05 pm

Hi Dee Beth
First I want to Thank you both for talking to me, it really means alot to me, Dee, Beth I really appreciate your suport, Because We all have addiction in Common whether we are on Methadone or Suboxone, They can break down the Benzo's If they have it taken to a Lab for that, And since I was crying they just might I don't know, I do have a Question though, After we gave our Urine's they dosed us, and They did give us out 2 day take home, I was wondering Do you know if they test the Urine's in the back for the basic's? When I say Basic, I mean Benzo's Which I know I'm ok with that unless they break the Benzo's down, and Opium, and Pot, and Barbituate's which I think Dilantin is a Barbituate, I take Dilantin, That's for Sezure disorder, My husband is comming down off the Methadone, and He just might go on Suboxone, Our Phycitrist perscribe's that, And I been seeing him 15 yr's if not more, My husband just started seeing him about 2 yr's, Anyway's, I didn't take the Meds to get high I took it because I have panic attack's and it doe's help, But I should have told them, The Doctor percribe them to me and I just didn't take them all in 1 month, I only took them if I needed Them " Temazepam" The reason I didn't tell them is because I know they would frown on it, and To them It's pass 30 day's so I guess since it's pass 30 day's more like 6 months or more, And they are afraid Od people Dieing on them, There was a young kid 23 yr's old that was on Methadone, But he took Xanax Alot of them and Overdosed and died, and That's why they may be strict, I just don't want no trouble, I shake when I go there as it is, because It's hard for me to be around alot of people, I grewup in a very abusive home, My dad drank and fought with my mom, anyway's we all have our tramas we have gone threw, Beth You said you take Valium? can I ask how long? Pls write Back to me Dee N Beth, I don't feel so alone Thank you so Much, You guy's are awesome Love Alway's Your Friend Sammy.
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bfye

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Female
Number of posts : 695
Age : 41
Humor : There is no room in your heart for anger when you are filled with gratitude.
Registration date : 2008-11-20

PostSubject: Re: DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend   Thu 25 Jun 2009, 4:57 pm

Hi Sammy,
How is your day going along for you? I mean, really going, not you just saying"fine" & we move past it. How are you really feeling today? Do you have any of your medication at all? How are you getting through? Is your appointment tomarrow- is that correct? Even if you were crying at your last appointment, there could've been a million reasons why- my first conclusion wouldn't be that you were taking another benzo. They already know that your on them. Why would they assume that you'd taken a different one?? As for the opiates, yes, maybe they did suspect that, but with taking half a pill several days ago, I think that it shouldn't show positive. I really believe that you will be okay with your clinic, as long as you can & have refrained from then on. I know how miserably hard every hour can be when your without your meds- heck, every minute.
I know this first hand this week due to my Valiums not being called in before my doctor was out of the ofice from Fri-Thurs. I have finally picked them up today, even though the office manager had assured me that they'd be waiting for me at the pharmacy this past Monday. It's been an extremely stressful week for me. I have to go to court tomarrow for driving with a suspended license & had to jump through rings of fire with the State BMV in order to try to get them back. But today, I went & took my driving & manuverability test (just like when your sixteen again!) & I did pass!! WHooHoo! I have my official plastic card in my possession showing that I am a valid, insured driver again. Now, I could go back to court tomarrow & have the judge suspend them all over again, but as long as I have a valid license, it assures me no state mandatory law of jail time. Anywhere from six months to thirty days. (or the other way around, I guess) In the case of driving without an operators license leaves more discretion to the judge than what driving under suspension does. I'll know much more by tomarrow afternoon. Anyways, that's the stress of the week & not having my Valium has made it all a million times worse. I'd been on Valium from the time that I was 22 years old until I found out that I was pregnant at age 30. I also was taking Dilantin for seizure disorder & went off of both of them, due to the chances of birth defects. I'd been off of them since then until this past January when my Suboxone doctor put me on a different benzo called Tranxene. I knew after a few months that I was hooked again- and my tolerance had not gone down. I ended up changing doctors, who switched the Tranxene to Valium & plans to keep me on it for a while, until my layers of onion peels are all peeled & by becoming secure by continuing with counseling, then to taper me off of them. That was what I was told at mt last appointment. I don't know how long I plan to have to be on them. How about you? Have you taken them for a long period of time also?
Please keep in touch & let me hear how you are doing.
Love to you.
Your Friend,
B I love you
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nannamom
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Female
Number of posts : 2207
Age : 59
Humor : Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. -Christopher Reeve
Registration date : 2008-11-09

PostSubject: Re: DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend   Thu 25 Jun 2009, 6:46 pm

Sammy,
I'm not sure about testing being done in the back room of the clinic. The clinic that I went to sent everything out to be tested.
When you gave your sample, did it go into a sealed cup, into a sealed bag? If it did, I don't see your clinic breaking the seal on that bag. As that would leave them open for possible contamination of the sample.
In all honestly I wouldn't think they would give you your take homes if they thought anything was wrong.
I believe they would have dosed you daily until they had the results.
But again Deborah is the person to talk to about that. And I will as soon as I get a hold of her.
Yours,
Dee

_________________
Nannamom
db622@hotmail.com


"I will let yesterday end so that today can begin."
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Barbara Rue

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Number of posts : 851
Age : 73
Humor : You can't keep it unless you give it away
Registration date : 2008-11-08

PostSubject: Re: DEE n To Everyone I Need A Friend   Tue 11 Aug 2009, 2:46 pm

Hi Sammy,

Sorry it's taken me so long to get with you. I can understand your not wanting to be around a lot of people and your panic mania when you go to the doctor. I don't want to go out very much and fight the crouds at the store or anywhere you have to wait in line. I hope everything is going good for you. I know you love your walks with your dog. I like to imagine angels around me when I go for a walk. A couple of nights ago there was only one star out in the east and I told myself it was an angel winking at me and wishing me well.

I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and Patrick. I'm sending you good will and thoughts of caring.

Answer when you will. I'll E mail you later on. Keep trying and know there's good things right around the corner.
Love,
Barbara
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